Almost a year later

Well it's been almost a year since Addison died and I have not said much since that time. My other web page with www.addisonfaus.wetpaint.com and most of you probably remember me from that. I have not had much to say over the past year since for some reason I feel like it's not ok to express how I feel. I think I get more upset now then I did after Addison died. I was ok then because I knew she was no longer in pain and she was with the Lord. I remember how bad everything was in the end. Now it is not as fresh in my mind, don't get me wrong I will never forget the day Addison died ever. It is embedded in my mind and it sometimes keeps me awake at night, especially now since it's almost been a year. I think about where we were this time last year and it brings back everything. I think that after July 25th my constant obsession of the 25th will subside. This month marks the end of the first....birthday, Christmas, death, ect.

I went this weekend with the wonderful ladies of Bethel Baptist Church to Deeper Still in Atlanta, GA. It was an amazing weekend. I have no control over my tears so they were flowing all weekend. I can't tell you how I felt this weekend at the event. I have felt distant from the word this past year. I've been trying to get my head straight and get back into the word, but the devil has had a hold over me. I have felt let down and the devil has ran with that. This weekend has rejuvenated my spirit and I feel like I am back on track. The worship time was just breath taking. I wish I had all 19k woman on CD singing at one time, because it just is unexplainable. I had a great time and I am so glad I went. I can't wait to do this again.

Well I guess that is it for now. I will write more later.